When life gets hard it is because blessings are coming.

My friend asked me to tell her what I meant by "When life gets hard it is because blessings are coming."

I have found that "Is the plain and very sobering truth that before
great moments, certainly before great spiritual moments, there can come
adversity, opposition, and darkness." When Elder Holland said this heknew what he was talking about. I first found this quote at the age of 19 long before many of of my great spiritual moments and before much of my adversity, opposition and darkness.

That should not be a shock to you, and it wasn't really a shock to me. Yet I was still learning that truth has application in my life. As life continued and continues for me I have found that this truth has helped me through the hard times that life has for me. I has started to see that I am being prepared for great spiritual moments.

So I remind myself when the trials come that "We cannot sign on for a battle of such eternal significance and everlasting consequence without knowing it will be a fight—a good fight and a winning fight, but a fight nevertheless."

So my friends when the hard times in life comes you can be sure that Elder Holland and I will cheer you on...Go! Fight! Win!

Credits:

Jeffrey R. Holland, “‘Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence’,” Ensign, Mar 2000

Time is measure in more than seconds, mintues, hours and days.

So there is all this talk about how men's brains and women's brains are different....but there is a difference in the way brains work that has nothing to our gender.

It is the way we approach time. Some live in the moment. Everything is measured by what can be accomplished today..tomorrow and maybe next week.

Some live in the past. They measure every choice by experiences in the past and how they can avoid past pain and relive past joys.

Some life for tomorrow. They measure choices by the possibility for increase return. The possibility that giving up what I want in this moment can bring me even greater reward in a month, a year, or in eternity.

I can't decided which one I am . I know that some days I can focus on the long term goals of life. Some days the past is too scary to relive. Some days I just want the reward today.

I do know however which one I want to be. I want to be focused on the law of increasing returns. I want to invest today in order to be worthy of eternity.

Things we do for love...

So back when I was in High School I had a crush who was all into the Marines..that is when I learned that "Semper Fi" means Always Faithful. It was also when I woke up early in the dark hours of the morning and took the family car without asking to leave him a card on his car.

In college I dated football players and would watch every football game in that season just so I could talk about the game with them later.

I have learned to cook new meals and tie a tie for church. I have learned to let them open things for me that I could open for myself and bite my lip when my comment is too witty.

I bring all this up because I am currently watching the Democratic National Convention in order to discuss politics with Phoenix. Don't get me wrong I do my research and am a registered voter. I go to the polls and make my vote count, but hours of political debates is a new experience for me. Still I do it because it is important to him.

I am glad to do it but he should know that all this extra time is all about love...just like taking the car that night.

**Sorry Mom and Dad***

Should I stay or should I go?

So here is the thing...I am thinking about moving...now just wait I haven't made any for sure decisions just yet and I don't know when it would be happening, but two people can't get married and live 918miles apart. So I have been thinking about it.

Here is my pro and con list...you can add to it if you like.

Pros
-I am going to move sooner or later...the question is just do I want it sooner
-A good Master's program (Idaho does not offer this for me at this time so I am reduced to an online program)
-Lots of job possibilities
-No Snow this winter
-I could keep my house and rent it out

Cons
-Leaving my family...especially my mom behind
-Leaving a job I love and my all time favorite client
-The Heat
-The unknown (this is always a con)

Frequently Asked Questions about Phoenix

People want to know more about my boyfriend so I thought I would post some of them for those of you who haven't asked yet.

Q: Where did you meet?
A: LDS Singles Online (I never thought I would meet anyone that way)

Q: Did he go on a mission?
A: He is a convert in his mid 20s and did not go on a mission.

Q: Where did he grow up?
A: He grew up in Oakland, CA

Q: What does he look like?
A: He is very handsome and has the most beautiful eyes. He is 6’3” with black hair. He shaves his head and has a goatee. He gives the best hugs.

Q: How old is his son?
A: 2.5 years and he is fun to talk to on the phone. I don’t understand everything he says but I can pick out a few of the important words like ‘monkey’

Q: So when do you see him again?
A: I am going down a week from Friday.

Q: So, you're in love?
A: Yes I am in love

Worth the wait!

He is amazing!!!
So this weekend I met Phoenix for the first time and he is more amazing in person than I could have thought.

After talking on the phone for a week he drove up 14 hours in order to come and meet me. We spent Friday hanging out around the house and then we went to run some errands. When we got to Wal-Mart my dad was at the check out nearest the door. After making our purchases he suggested that we go meet mom so she didn't feel left out. So we went to see Mom and my sister was there.

He took me to me on a date that afternoon and then asked if we could go hang out with my sister and her family. So we went over and He worked with my brother-in-law to put up a shelf in the laundry room while sister and I worked in the kitchen. Then we went with sister and family to dinner and back to the house to watch a movie.

Saturday we took mom and went to the farmers market, breakfast, did a little shopping and back to the house to meet a couple of a good friend. Then we went to the parents so he could cook everyone dinner. We played a game and then went back to the house so that I could work on my talk and he watched some football. We finished the night by going to see a movie at the friends house.

Sunday morning I made him french toast for breakfast and then we went to church. I gave my talk and then we went home and I made some chocolate chip cookies for his trip home.

So you can see it was a very full weekend!

But the most important things is that I learned is that I am even more sure that he is the one I want to be with than before!

Online Dating

Online dating...some of you swear by it, some of you married it, some of you never touched it, some of you think about it, and some of you know exactly what I am talking about. So recently I have tried some online dating...even though I am hard enough to get to know in person I just thought maybe just maybe I could keep myself from feeling hopeless about the avalible men. So I talk to guys online. Mostly I just talk...never meet, and that usually doesn't last. There is the SuperNova experience every once in a while where you talk for a lot of a couple days and then you never hear from them again.

I always worry that someday I am going see one of them and they will remember me and it will be all awkward....let's hope that doesn't happen.

To all of you who no longer have to date...forgive your spouse...there is worse out there.

Our Deepest Fear

This weekend I realized that recently I have been scared of my own power...not because I am all kinds of wonderful, but because I tend to stand out. I don't mean to do it, and recently I have worked really hard not to stand out...more than that to be invisible in some ways.

I find that dating is more difficult when you are thought of as powerful...so maybe if men thought I was a damsel in distress I would be less threatening...this is not working.

I can't stand to be less than my authentic self...so here is my quote that supports that it is more important to meet our potential then to meet our knight in shiny armour.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,talented and fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.We were born to make manifest the glory ofGod that is within us.It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,we unconsciously give other peoplepermission to do the same.As we are liberated from our own fear,Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

Bremerton Washington

So Monday at 4am...after the flood was mostly under control my mom, my sister and her family and I took off to Washington (Alicia's family is moving there so Matt can live every man's dream of playing video games for the rest of his life...good thing he is a genius).

The ride started a litte rough when the chincilla (I know that isn't how you spell it) cage scratched me several times. I finally took a gas stop to put it in the trunk! The drive wasn't bad...most because my mom is awesome and Matt and I used the walkie talkies to amuse ourselves inbetween naps.

I got to drive through Spokane and some areas my parents served their mission in, but I was so glad to see Bremerton...well I was glad to be at the end of a 14 hour trip!!!

Alicia's house was so cute and the boys ran around checking the place out. I know moving to a new place can be scary but I know they are going to do great.

Alicia was reluctant for Mom and I to leave (mostly mom I am sure) but we packed up Tuesday night and left at 9:30...dad did not think this was our best plan, but we had already taken off (he said something like we obviously weren't asking permission).

We did learn a couple things driving through the night..

1. Gas stations have no attendant past 11:30 in the State of Washington...but thank goodness for Idaho.

2. Montana morning news is amazingly interesting after a lack of sleep.

3 If you are going to jam out to music in the middle of the night and you didn't bring any CDs then country is your best bet...It Ain't No Thinkin THING!

Thanks mom for keeping me company...Forever Shaniqua!

Happy Squish Squish to me!

So today was my birthday and I started it off right with a load of laundry...who knew laundry could cause such problems. When I got home from church I found my basement flooded...oer three inches in some areas.

I had to have some manly men from church come and shut off the water and then called the insurance company...they said "prevent any further damage"...well duh.

So I called in the specialist to come and suck the water out of the basement. The frist day they got over 100 gallons and said they would be back. Ten fans and 2 de-humidifiers later (I hear you can give the energy bill to the insurance company) my house feels like a sauna and my carpet seems dry.

Happy Bithday to me!