things we don't say, but should

I can't do it all...how many woman reach the end of the day and just feel like yelling "I can't do it all".

That day was today...and that is all there is to that.

My Morning Reorganizing Memory Lane

So today I spent several hours organizing my storage room. Yep...lots of going through old things I have been avoiding for years.

I mean I have stuff all the way back to grade school. Heather stopped me from throwing out a lifetime of certificates. Mom filed my HS diploma (Awe the Bulldog memories).

I had lots of mission memories...i miss the fall color and leaves. Church memories from my YW days (a filing system that Sister Hobson started me on) and other deep thoughts from over the years.

Then there are the books. The ones from college and high school even high school when I (and my best friend Heather Hansbrow) started a relationship with Anita Stansfield.

Did I mention my obsession with stationary. I have lots and lots of cards for different occasions...and inviation for bridal and baby showers I bought on clearance for my friends. (When you have planned as many showers as I have you start to have a year's supply of this kind of thing too).

Oh and I love Christmas...I have been collecting Christmas ordaments since I was a teenager.

Memory Lane is a nice place to go everyonce in awhile.

Ten Reasons You Would Not Understand

10. To know what I know you would have to have been through the same experiences.

9. To see what I see you would have to have to have seen the same sites.

8. To hear what I hear you would have to apply the same filters.

7. To find what I find you would have to be looking for the same signs.

6. To plan what I have planned you would have had to want the same goals.

5. To get to where I am you would have to take the same path.

4. To do what I do you would have to have the same skills.

3. To know my pain you would have to know my same heart.

2. To know my strengths you would need to know my same weakness.

1. To understand completely you would have to be me.

As I study people and their interactions I find it hard to believe we understand each other at all. However for those of you who truly want to understand those you find yourself surrounded with know this truth: That each person whether you love or despise them has had a life in which you cannot know all the details. If you do not understand what they say, do, believe, think, feel, and want then the truth has to be you do not understand them. Allow yourself to see that what we seek in this life is trained by what we do, choose to do, and have had done to us.

Only Ten Days

So the whole long distance relationship isn't completely foreign to me, however I have never liked it. I haven't seen Bryan for over two weeks now, and I was supposed to wait another two weeks for him to come up here. However today we were talking and we decided to meet in Utah for conference weekend...which means that I only have ten days left until I see him.

We are going to hang out with my best friend Heather and her family. Kevin and Bryan are going to have a lot of fun teasing us the whole weekend...if they aren't good we will just play pranks on them when they are at the priesthood session.

Okay so maybe this counts as a little romantic :)

If it wasn't for Mom's soup then being sick would be really horrible

So the other morning I look in the mirror and see that my neck looks weird. Swollen...so I reach up to feel it and it hurts. Dang it. Two days later the other side of my throat is lumpy...Okay that is annoying. After several prompts from my friends and family I go to the Dr. It is strep throat...exactly what I need to start out the fall season.

I hate being sick. There is something truly annoying about not being able to do what ever you want to do! Not to mention the fact that when you are sick and tell other people they back away slowly...just to boost your self-esteem in that moment. (Well mom's don't, but they are the only ones) Mom makes home made soup and even comes over to check on me.

Thank goodness for Mom's Minestrone Soup!!!

An Unromantic

So for all of you who don't know...I am not romantic. It is true. I don't swoon, or gush or giggle for the most part. I mean it might come out every once in a while, but for the most part it is really hard for me to buy into the world's notion of romance.

I prefer honest discussion full of tack and honest expression of feelings and thoughts. Flowers do little for me, I can buy them for myself. Chocolate is not new to me, and a man figuring out that I want it tells me nothing about any one's feelings for me. Fancy dates are a waste of money if done too often. I don't eat much so I have a hard time enjoying restaurants.

This shocks some people...and some people totally agree. I do watch romantic comedies and read romantic stories. I enjoy the story of love just like most people.

So I think I am weird...do you agree?

Is sleeping in my vice?

So this morning I was asked what I would do when my life began to have limits on my schedule.

This was after I told Bryan that I had just woken up at 10am after staying at my sisters till 3am and then stopping by work to print off some paperwork and not going to sleep until 4:55am....what that isn't normal?

As a father he knows that the need for an alarm clock is limited when you have children, and so is your flexible sleep schedule.

In my defense let me state that sleep is one of the few luxuries that a single woman has in this life and so I might indulge...but don't forget I am responsible and I have a job that allow this flexibility so it is not like I am blowing off life to sleep in. It is not my fault that I choose a career that keeps odd hours...well...er..maybe but it isn't my fault that you didn't!

I have been at the hospital at all hours of the night with clients and have every reason to be grateful for pharmacies being open 24 hours.

So my dear friends don't hate me because I can sleep in!

Take a Note from Moses!!!!

Knowing who you are....

So one of the best scriptures about being who you are really are is in Moses 1:12-16

And it came to pass that when Moses had said these words, behold, Satan came tempting him, saying: Moses, son of man, worship me. And it came to pass that Moses looked upon Satan and said:

"Who art thou? For behold, I am a son of God"

Moses is so sure that he a son of God that Satan doesn't even phase him. He says,

"Get thee hence, Satan; deceive me not"

Why is it that it is so hard to remember that we are children of God when Satan attacks us...why can we not just say "Get thee hence!"

In talking to a good friend of mine I realized that often we allow others to approach us much like Satan telling us that we are less then what we are. They ask us to worship something other than God our father. I hope that I (and you, my friends) can find that part of us that knows who we are and tell all the rest to get hence!

Thanks Mr. Bus Driver!

So I will begin with the end. When I boarded the shuttle from SLC to Idaho Falls today the bus driver (an older grandpa type) said to one of the passengers "that is a good girl you better take really really good care of her"

I kind of laughed to myself that this man was getting dating advice from a stranger, but hey it was good advice. We should all take good care of each other.

Friday I flew to Phoenix to spend some time with Bryan in his territory. We did a lot around the house and with his son (who says we might be friends soon...this is good coming from a 2.5 year old). I had authentic Japanese sushi (this is impossible to find in Idaho). While we were eating the little man got down and crawled under the stools before we could catch him, and the group he was under turned and looked at me to tell me that my son had gotten away...lol. It was nice to do the family style dinner with the little man and then we followed that up by doing some home decor research at IKEA.

Saturday morning I rearranged the furniture in Bryan's living room...I don't think he knew what he was getting himself into. He let me be the "creative genius" while he was the muscle (mom says she thinks he might of been afraid I would damage the large TV). We did some organizing with the new shelf that was purchased the night before and then Bryan had to go to work. While Bryan was at work the Little man and I spend some time bonding. We cleaned his room together and watched a couple of his favorite movies. Later after Bryan got home the adults went to see a movie and then walked around the outdoor mall. There was a ASU football game on so most of restaurants were busy but we found a nice BBQ place and had the manager attempt to find a sports channel.

Sunday morning we went to church. He has a very nice ward and there were all very welcoming. the little man even went to nursery by himself for a little while. Bryan made dinner and we had some interesting debates while playing with the little man and staying inside...away from the 107 degree weather.

I flew home today and me the the marriage therapist bus driver. I thought it is nice to have someone be really really good to you. Thanks Mr. Bus Driver I hope we all remember those words when we think of the people who choose to be in our lives.

To be or not to be...the gaduate school question.

So lately I have been thinking deeply about graduate school...I started a couple years ago and have been taking classes here and there, but I am still only on the path. I thin I am just about ready to be all grown up and take the plunge and finish my Master Degree.

I used to think I wasn't old enough to be a therapist...I mean seriously you have to get to a certain age before you have anything worth wild to say. I don't know anywhere close to all of it, but I have learned a couple of things.

I have gotten some field experience to compliment my education. Before I moved to Idaho Falls I was worried that I wouldn't really like being involved with people on such a personal level...or they wouldn't want me to be that involved. Still over the last three years I have gotten a true taste of the field. My current supervisor is an amazing therapist who has been an excellent mentor.

So the question is do I take the plunge and apply to a full-time program and get it done...or do I keep working and keeping taking classes over the next several years?

Phoenix here I come!!!!

I am so excited to see Bryan in three days. We were talking about some of the things we are going to do. We are going to in order to find some storage options for his home. This makes me think of the Pueblo Village and putting together bookselves with Kimma. I am going to take Bryan out for dinner for his birthday. Sunday we are going to visit the

Mesa Temple!!!!

I am so excited to build on our friendship! He is amazing and I promise that he is so good to me! Okay I am going to stop gushing now...Bryan reads this and teases me later.